


champagne problems

by Palisadewasp



Series: i finally see myself [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, First Love, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Repressed Richie Tozier, Soft Richie Tozier, Teenage Losers Club (IT)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28494423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Palisadewasp/pseuds/Palisadewasp
Summary: Eddie proposes. Richie doesn’t want Eddie to spend his entire life tied down to someone he’ll regret. Eddie doesn’t understand why, after all these years, Richie still doesn’t know that Eddie will never regret a single moment they spend together.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: i finally see myself [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2087235
Comments: 2
Kudos: 69





	champagne problems

**Author's Note:**

> This is (if it isn’t obvious by the title) loosely based off of Taylor Swift’s song, champagne problems. I actually have plans to make this a bit of a series, I think, so subscribe if you’d like to see more!

It’s beautiful, the lights of Derry sparkling in the night, the lights of cities beyond calling for them. They’re eighteen, it’s the summer after their senior year and they’ve both been avoiding talking about this.

Or, maybe they’ve been talking about it all this time. Maybe Richie is beginning to understand why everyone in the Losers Club has been calling him oblivious for years. Maybe it’s what Eddie was talking about under that Willow tree a few yards outside of the clubhouse.

“Could you slow down? I’m trying to read, too.” Eddie had said, cheek pressed firmly against Richie’s shoulder. Richie flicked to the next page of the comic and Eddie groaned.

“It’s not my fault I’m smarter than you, sweets,” Richie responded, only half paying attention to their conversation.

“Actually,” Eddie started, repeating the word with emphasis when he saw Richie rolling his eyes, “Reading faster doesn’t make you smarter. I read that somewhere.”

Richie laughed to himself, “Very slowly, I’m sure.” He watched out of the corner of his eye with a smirk as Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed into a grumpy expression.

“Fuck you, dude.” He swatted at Richie’s bony arm half-heartedly before slumping back against his shoulder. It was comfortable, a typical routine for the two of them after school whenever Eddie could get away with hanging out for a bit instead of heading straight home to his mother. It was quiet out there, near the clubhouse, but it wasn’t far enough away from the town to take the edge off of Richie’s nerves. It wasn’t far enough away to make Richie comfortable with the kiss Eddie pressed into his shoulder after a few long, silent moments.

“Careful, Eds, someone could see,” He murmured, shrugging Eddie’s head off his shoulder and moving a few inches away. He continued to read his comic even though he could feel Eddie watching him pensively. He knew that Eddie was tired of hiding, tired of dating someone without really dating them.

He felt like he should say something to make up for his cowardice. 

“I wish we could be somewhere no one could see,” He mumbled as the shame of being so afraid crept up onto his cheeks.

“I don’t,” Eddie answered with complete certainty. “I wish we could be somewhere everyone could see and no one would care.”

Richie snorted, finally setting aside the comic to look at Eddie who had moved to sit in front of him, slightly off center. The sun behind him turned his hair into a halo and Richie wanted to tell him all about how pretty he looked.

“I promise you, a place like that doesn’t exist.”

“That’s not true,” Eddie said, looking sour. “I’ve heard that a lot of the big cities don’t really care much about that stuff. We could go there.”

“Oh yeah?” Richie decided to humor him. “And which big city would you want to go to, Eds?”

Eddie scrunched up his nose, looking around like he could see all the big cities mapped out around them. “New York?”

Richie scoffed, “Too dirty for you, Spaghetti.”

Eddie visibly pondered this, then shrugged. “I don’t know, Rich, I think I’d go anywhere you wanted to.” 

“Okay,” Richie answered, scooting forward to lay on his back in a spot of sunlight. The warmth felt nice on his face. “I want to go to Spaghetti-ville. There’s three different amusement parks, no germs, no mythical creatures who snatch little kids—” Eddie gave him a disgruntled look for that, “—and no one who lives there cares that we’re…”

He trailed off, not really knowing which words he was hesitating on saying. 

“In love?” Eddie supplied, patient as always.

“Sure,” Richie answered. It was the closest he’d ever get to saying it, because he was small and pathetic and afraid. Because he couldn’t even say it to himself.

So, how was he to expect that he’d ever end up here? Here being the landing of the library staircase at midnight. Richie had been under the impression that they were breaking into the library— Eddie’s idea— but it’s becoming clearer and clearer to him that this had been planned, that Eddie had likely talked Mike into sneaking him a set of the library keys so that he could shuttle Richie up the staircase just to stop by the floor length window on the landing and get down on one knee like they were in some sort of movie Richie’s mom liked to cry over and say ‘When you get a girl someday, honey, you have to propose to her like that’. 

He never has had the guts to tell her he’s been in love with his childhood best friend for thirteen years.

But, apparently, guts are not what Eddie cares about, because he is still down on one knee fumbling sweetly with the ring so that he can start his speech to which Richie already knows his answer.

He chose a good spot— quiet and secluded. Sure, the window isthere, but they are so high up that the rest of the world isfar enough away for Richie to feel like their opinions don’t matter. 

It’s beautiful, the lights of Derry sparkling in the night, the lights of cities beyond calling for them. They’re eighteen, it’s the summer after their senior year and they’ve both been avoiding talking about this. Or maybe just Richie has. Maybe there had been some unspoken expectation Eddie had all this time. They’re eighteen, and Eddie knows nothing but Richie and Derry. It’s not fair. It’s not fair because, even with the lights of Derry seeming so far away and the only boy he’s ever loved on one knee in front of him he is still, deep down, a coward. Eddie is brave, always has been, even if he didn’t believe it. And he’s attempting to tie himself to Richie like a pair of fucking ankle weights in a swimming pool.

“Eddie, stop,” Richie says, voice surprisingly cold, but Eddie doesn’t get the hint.

“Sorry,” He mumbles, laughing slightly but sounding embarrassed, “I shouldn’t have put the ring in a box, I guess, it would’ve just been easier to put it in my pocket by itself.” He finally manages to get the box out without looking up at Richie.

“Eddie,” Richie’s voice wavers this time, and that seems to catch Eddie’s attention. “Stop,  _ please.” _

“Rich?” He sounds so gentle when he says it that it makes Richie’s vision instantly cloud with tears. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” 

It only takes him a moment to stand up and crowd into Richie’s space which only serves to make Richie feel more on edge.

“This is— No, stop, you’re making a mistake.” His voice sounds sticky and he swallows around it in a desperate attempt to appear more put together. “We  _ cannot  _ get married. I mean, obviously not legally, but also not metaphorically or whatever the fuck this is supposed to be.”

“I don’t understand,” Eddie says, but from the frigid tone of his voice it sounds like he  _ very  _ much does understand.

_ “You  _ are not spending the rest of your life with  _ me.  _ That is not happening, okay? That’s just not happening.” Richie still sounds choked up, but at least the words are coming out of his mouth.

Eddie’s face contorts from upset to confused to downright heartbroken. “Oh,” He says. His voice cracks on that single syllable and it takes everything in Richie to not break down right then. 

Instead, he says, “I’m sorry,” and turns on his heel to run down the stairs and out the front door of the library. He manages to make it halfway through the parking lot— headed to the truck they both came here in and feeling a bit bad about the thought of abandoning Eddie but not really seeing any other option— before Eddie catches up with him.

“Wait,” He yells across the empty lot, “Rich, can we at least fucking talk about this?” 

Richie doesn’t turn around. “We did already!” He shouts back, hoping he can make it into his truck before he hears what Eddie has to say next. He doesn’t.

“What— What did I do wrong, Richie?” From the sound of it, he’s stopped walking towards Richie. 

Richie stops walking and turns to lean against his closed car door, staring at the forest of trees behind the library. 

“You proposed to me,” He answers, just loud enough so that Eddie can hear him. “Why would you propose to me?” 

When Eddie scoffs it echoes around the side of the building. “Because I love you, you dickhead.” 

“Okay,” Richie’s voice sounds so croaky. “That doesn’t mean you have to spend the rest of your life with me.”

Eddie goes quiet for what feels like forever. Richie can hear an owl in one of the trees. When he speaks again, it’s softer but still manages to reach Richie’s ears.

“I guess not, but I want to.” There’s a pause where neither of them says anything. “I thought you wanted to, too.”

Richie chooses to not respond to that second part, because it doesn’t matter, anyway. 

He turns around to look at Eddie over the bed of his truck and finds that he’s closer than he was before. Close enough that Richie can tell he’s running his fingers over the box in his pocket. 

Richie walks around the tail of his truck to close some of the distance between them.

“Eddie, you do  _ not  _ want to spend the rest of your life with me, okay?” He can’t help it that his vision is going blurry with tears once more, he just hopes that Eddie is far enough away that he can’t see in the darkness. “You deserve so  _ much.  _ You deserve a future and a really fucking cool life with someone who isn’t absolutely fucking  _ petrified  _ to hold your hand. You do not want to be with me forever!” He lowers his voice and looks around because, despite everything, he still feels like someone could be listening. Eddie has started shaking his head, shifting his weight from foot to foot and if Richie was paying attention to the warning signs he may have stopped talking but he was never known for his tact. “Eddie, we’ve been together for two years and we’ve only kissed like, three times. Do you understand how fucked up that is? I’ve been holding you back long enough. You’d be making the biggest mistake of your life if you spent the rest of it with me, okay? I’m just saving you from making the worst decision you could ever make.”

Eddie stares, brows furrowed and fists clenched, before he explodes.

“Fuck you!” He spits, and it’s so different from every other time he’s ever said it. There’s a fury in his eyes unlike anything Richie has ever seen. Or, perhaps, he’s seen it before, but never directed at him. “Fuck you! You don’t get to decide my life for me! You don’t get to… No, I’ve spent years trying to figure out who I am. Do you know how hard that is when you’ve been spoon fed everything you know about yourself by your mother? Do you know how hard it is to figure out what you want when every original thought you’ve ever had is immediately met with, ‘Well, mother wouldn’t like that very much’? It’s so fucking hard! But I did it! And I’m still doing it, but I’ve figured out that I’m— I’m the person that wants more than just this shitty town. I’m the person who has big fucking dreams even if I don’t really know what they are yet. I’m the person who, who loves his friends more than anything and would do— quite literally—  _ anything  _ for them. And, above everything else, I’m the person who loves  _ you.” _

He pauses, chest heaving and eyes gleaming under the lights. “And that doesn’t mean that you  _ have  _ to spend your life with me. If that’s not what you want, that’s fine. I don’t own you… and really, I just want you to be happy. But don’t leave just because you think I don’t know what I want. I  _ know  _ what I want. I’ve spent years figuring it out, and I wouldn’t have figured any of it out if it wasn’t for you. Which is why I wrote a speech that I didn’t even get to  _ say  _ and convinced Mike to let me use the library keys and had you drive us all the way out here, because I  _ want you.” _

Eddie’s eyes look so big and a bit exhausted but not unkind in the slightest. For two years now, and probably even before, Eddie has been trying to convince him that he’s loved and cherished beyond being some sort of comic relief or gimmick. He thinks, maybe, with Eddie looking at him like that, he might be in the beginning stages of believing it.

“Can I hear it?” He says, and his voice sounds quiet to his own ears. “The— The speech, I mean.”

All of the tension in Eddie’s body and face softens at once as he carefully observes Richie.

“You want to hear it?” He says it like it’s a victory that Richie might listen to what he has to say. Richie supposes, after all these years, it is a bit of a victory that he might shut up and listen for once. He nods timidly.

“Okay, Rich, but no interrupting this time, okay?” Richie nods once more. Eddie doesn’t fumble with the ring box this time, pulls it out easily from his pocket and assumes his position on one knee. He’s still about ten feet away but Richie feels paralyzed where he is. 

“We have an inordinate amount of shit stacked up against us, I know. We’re eighteen, we’re gay, we have no money, and we’re both utterly fucking incapable of dealing with our emotions. That’s, uh, that’s a lot for a couple of buffoons to deal with, I know. And I also know that we legally can’t get married, which probably makes this seem really silly, but it’s not silly to me. Because I love you, Richie.” 

When Richie makes a wounded noise at that and his hands start to tremble by his sides, Eddie awkwardly shuffles forward in his precarious position, reaching out with his unoccupied hand for him.

“Hey, sweetheart, c’mere,” He says, and Richie walks over to him with the integrity of a newborn baby deer and collapses onto his knees in front of him. Eddie doesn’t hesitate to set the ring on the ground and cradle Richie’s face in his hands.

“I love you  _ so _ much. And I know that you’ve been really scared of this for a long time, and I know that’s not going to change just because of this moment. I know that you’re still going to be scared of holding my hand and that you’re still going to have a hard time telling me you love me—” His thumbs brush away tears Richie didn’t realize were rolling down his face. “But I know you love me, and I know I love you, and I know that there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than by your side. Regardless of where, regardless of whether or not I’m holding your hand. I just want to be with you. So  _ please,”  _ His voice cracks but he’s still staring into Richie’s eyes. “Please let me be with you for the rest of our lives. I want nothing more, Richie. You are  _ it  _ for me. You are everything.”

“This is so excessive,” Richie replies, but he’s crying openly now so it doesn’t have the teasing effect he was going for. “We can’t even get married and you wrote this  _ whole  _ speech and got me a ring and everything?”

“Jesus, Rich, you’re really keeping me on my toes here,” Eddie says with a shy smile, hands still on Richie’s face and his fingertips stroking along his hairline.

“Oh,” Richie sniffles, “Do you want an answer?”

Eddie rolls his eyes, “Obviously, you moron.”

In a small act of bravery, he reaches forward and grasps onto Eddie’s waist. “I’m so fucking tired,” He chokes out, a hot wave of tears falling down over his cheeks. “I’m so tired of hiding but I don’t know if I can stop. I’m going to try for you but I don’t think I’m as brave as you are. If you can deal with all of that for another 60 or so years then yeah, I would really dig spending the rest of my life with you.”

Eddie’s laugh sounds like a painful cross between amused and extremely annoyed, “You would  _ dig  _ it?”

Richie smiles for what feels like the first time in ages, “I really fucking would, yeah.”

“Can I—” Eddie starts, looking somehow still utterly in love with Richie. He uses his thumbs once more to wipe away the flood under Richie’s eyes. “Would it be okay if I kissed you? You can say no.”

Richie squeezes his waist and resists the urge to look around them for lurkers. 

“Okay,” He whispers, nodding along with it.

It doesn’t take long for Eddie’s lips to find his. He closes his eyes and leans into it, trying desperately to close out the world around them and just feel what it’s like to be loved by Eddie Kaspbrak.

And then, when they both pull away and go quiet, he tries really hard to be as brave as Eddie is every single day. He picks the box up off the floor, slides the ring onto his finger, and says— as loudly as he can muster—

“I love you, Eds.”

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said, I plan to make this a series about Richie’s repression and the other pieces should have a bit more of their typical snark and a more upbeat vibe to them. If you have any ideas you’d like to see written, let me know!
> 
> As always, your comments mean so much to me and inspire me to write more. I love you all!


End file.
